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By:

Asha Tripathi

14 April 2025 at 1:35:28 pm

Love Isn't Toxic; People Are

Love has never been the problem. Human behaviour has. People often say, ‘Love isn't what it used to be.' We hear stories of betrayal, manipulation, ghosting, emotional abuse, and broken promises. It can seem as though love itself has become toxic. But has love really changed, or is it the way people approach relationships that has changed? The truth is that love has never been the problem. Human behaviour has. True love is not constant excitement, grand gestures, or perfect romance. It is a...

Love Isn't Toxic; People Are

Love has never been the problem. Human behaviour has. People often say, ‘Love isn't what it used to be.' We hear stories of betrayal, manipulation, ghosting, emotional abuse, and broken promises. It can seem as though love itself has become toxic. But has love really changed, or is it the way people approach relationships that has changed? The truth is that love has never been the problem. Human behaviour has. True love is not constant excitement, grand gestures, or perfect romance. It is a choice to treat another person with dignity, kindness, and honesty. True love is built on mutual respect, trust and emotional security. It involves respecting each other's feelings, boundaries and individuality, caring for one another through both joyful and difficult times, and building trust through consistent actions rather than empty promises. It is marked by honest communication instead of manipulation or mind games; accepting each other's imperfections while encouraging personal growth; and creating a relationship in which both partners feel safe to express themselves without fear of judgement or rejection. Love is not about controlling someone. It is about helping each other feel valued and secure. Toxic Love Relationships become toxic when fear, insecurity, selfishness or a desire for control replace mutual respect and care. One common cause is unresolved emotional wounds. People who have experienced betrayal, neglect or unhealthy relationships may carry those experiences into new relationships, making them suspicious, controlling or emotionally distant. Unrealistic expectations can also create problems. Films and social media often portray love as a constant state of excitement, whereas real relationships involve routine, disagreements, responsibilities and compromise. When expectations do not match reality, disappointment often follows. Poor communication is another major factor. Instead of discussing problems openly, some people avoid difficult conversations, withdraw emotionally, criticise or manipulate their partners, allowing misunderstandings to deepen. Experts also point to the role of ego. When individuals become more concerned with proving themselves right than understanding their partner's perspective, conflicts become harder to resolve and empathy gives way to confrontation. Fear of abandonment can fuel unhealthy behaviour. Anxiety about losing a partner may manifest as jealousy, possessiveness, constant monitoring or emotional dependence, behaviours that often place further strain on the relationship. A lack of accountability can also damage relationships. Healthy partners acknowledge their mistakes and work to improve, while toxic relationships are often characterised by blame, excuses and an unwillingness to take responsibility. Technology has also changed relationship dynamics. While instant messaging, social media and dating apps have made communication easier, they have also increased opportunities for comparison, insecurity and the pursuit of constant validation, creating new pressures for many couples. True Love Despite growing cynicism about modern relationships, true love still exists. It may seem rare because it requires qualities that are not always easy to practise, including patience, maturity, honesty, consistency and emotional responsibility. True love is not found in perfect people. Rather, it is created by two imperfect individuals who consistently choose respect over control, honesty over deception, and understanding over ego. Healthy Love Healthy love brings more peace than confusion. It does not mean there will never be disagreements. Instead, both partners work through them without humiliating or harming each other. In a healthy relationship, both partners feel respected rather than controlled and heard rather than dismissed. Trust is built through consistent actions rather than promises alone, creating a sense of security and reliability. Healthy relationships also allow individuals to express themselves freely without fear of judgement while encouraging both partners to grow as individuals even as they strengthen their relationship together. Love itself has never become toxic. Fear, insecurity, dishonesty, and emotional immaturity make relationships toxic. True love is not measured by how intensely someone says, "I love you." It is measured by how consistently they show respect, care, honesty, and responsibility. At its best, love is not about possessing another person. It is about creating a space where two people feel safe, appreciated, and free to become the best versions of themselves. When respect disappears, love begins to fade. But when respect, trust and kindness remain, love has the chance to endure. In the end, love is measured not by grand declarations but by everyday acts of honesty, care and commitment. (The writer is an educator based in Thane. Views personal.)

Bad Roads, Ugly Politics


The pathetic state of roads in Mumbai city as well as its suburbs has made daily commute a dangerous affair. The residents are miffed with the BMC over its lackadaisical attitude. Mumbaikars tweet photos, post videos to grab attention, but everything is in vain. Who cares for the common people. Backbreaking journeys have become part and parcel of life. Political leaders are busy mud-slinging.


This year the monsoon took a break after almost four and half months. During this time some of the roads virtually became non commutable. It may be recalled that the Chief Minister Eknath Shinde first announced to make Mumbai roads pothole free.


Its almost two years now the BMC has concretised only 9 percent of roads it planned to concretise. This decision was taken when it came to light that due to the properties of bitumen in asphalt roads, potholes are a regular occurrence due to contact with water during monsoons.


Hence, to solve the problem of potholes, the corporation has adopted a policy of cement concreting of 6-meter-wide roads in phases. The decision was taken but the dilly-dallying affair made things more difficult.


Mumbai’s traffic does put a lot of strain on roads which is not the case in the other developed countries. Second most important aspect is concretisation of roads is done partly and in phases.


The worst problem which is faced is repeated digging for cables and drainage, which weakens the roads. Above all corruption in BMC makes matters worse as a result everything comes to grinding halt.


According to experts, repairing potholes is a reaction with symptomatic treatment. By and large we are dispensing superficial treatment without addressing the root cause. The long-term solution will be to have roads with no potholes but what we need is the means and technology to achieve this. But for this political will is necessary which we lack on every step.


Mumbaikar’s are convience that corruption in the municipal corporation is the main reason. Contractors have had a monopoly over the last 20 years and this is the reason why reputed companies never come ahead for these projects.


As a result, in the name of attendance and repair, the BMC does shoddy work. Crores are spent but the end result is nothing. The BMC is not paying attention to the crust. If the crust is weak, potholes will see an increase. Without any thought or technical know-how, potholes are filled with cold mix.


This is the reason why the city and suburbs continue to have craters on the roads.


Craters, a serious threat to the safety and security of people. Mumbaikars fade up from their repeated visits to orthopedic surgeons.


They are in a mood to teach a proper lesson to those who were at the helm of the affairs.

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