top of page

By:

Asha Tripathi

14 April 2025 at 1:35:28 pm

Love Isn't Toxic; People Are

Love has never been the problem. Human behaviour has. People often say, ‘Love isn't what it used to be.' We hear stories of betrayal, manipulation, ghosting, emotional abuse, and broken promises. It can seem as though love itself has become toxic. But has love really changed, or is it the way people approach relationships that has changed? The truth is that love has never been the problem. Human behaviour has. True love is not constant excitement, grand gestures, or perfect romance. It is a...

Love Isn't Toxic; People Are

Love has never been the problem. Human behaviour has. People often say, ‘Love isn't what it used to be.' We hear stories of betrayal, manipulation, ghosting, emotional abuse, and broken promises. It can seem as though love itself has become toxic. But has love really changed, or is it the way people approach relationships that has changed? The truth is that love has never been the problem. Human behaviour has. True love is not constant excitement, grand gestures, or perfect romance. It is a choice to treat another person with dignity, kindness, and honesty. True love is built on mutual respect, trust and emotional security. It involves respecting each other's feelings, boundaries and individuality, caring for one another through both joyful and difficult times, and building trust through consistent actions rather than empty promises. It is marked by honest communication instead of manipulation or mind games; accepting each other's imperfections while encouraging personal growth; and creating a relationship in which both partners feel safe to express themselves without fear of judgement or rejection. Love is not about controlling someone. It is about helping each other feel valued and secure. Toxic Love Relationships become toxic when fear, insecurity, selfishness or a desire for control replace mutual respect and care. One common cause is unresolved emotional wounds. People who have experienced betrayal, neglect or unhealthy relationships may carry those experiences into new relationships, making them suspicious, controlling or emotionally distant. Unrealistic expectations can also create problems. Films and social media often portray love as a constant state of excitement, whereas real relationships involve routine, disagreements, responsibilities and compromise. When expectations do not match reality, disappointment often follows. Poor communication is another major factor. Instead of discussing problems openly, some people avoid difficult conversations, withdraw emotionally, criticise or manipulate their partners, allowing misunderstandings to deepen. Experts also point to the role of ego. When individuals become more concerned with proving themselves right than understanding their partner's perspective, conflicts become harder to resolve and empathy gives way to confrontation. Fear of abandonment can fuel unhealthy behaviour. Anxiety about losing a partner may manifest as jealousy, possessiveness, constant monitoring or emotional dependence, behaviours that often place further strain on the relationship. A lack of accountability can also damage relationships. Healthy partners acknowledge their mistakes and work to improve, while toxic relationships are often characterised by blame, excuses and an unwillingness to take responsibility. Technology has also changed relationship dynamics. While instant messaging, social media and dating apps have made communication easier, they have also increased opportunities for comparison, insecurity and the pursuit of constant validation, creating new pressures for many couples. True Love Despite growing cynicism about modern relationships, true love still exists. It may seem rare because it requires qualities that are not always easy to practise, including patience, maturity, honesty, consistency and emotional responsibility. True love is not found in perfect people. Rather, it is created by two imperfect individuals who consistently choose respect over control, honesty over deception, and understanding over ego. Healthy Love Healthy love brings more peace than confusion. It does not mean there will never be disagreements. Instead, both partners work through them without humiliating or harming each other. In a healthy relationship, both partners feel respected rather than controlled and heard rather than dismissed. Trust is built through consistent actions rather than promises alone, creating a sense of security and reliability. Healthy relationships also allow individuals to express themselves freely without fear of judgement while encouraging both partners to grow as individuals even as they strengthen their relationship together. Love itself has never become toxic. Fear, insecurity, dishonesty, and emotional immaturity make relationships toxic. True love is not measured by how intensely someone says, "I love you." It is measured by how consistently they show respect, care, honesty, and responsibility. At its best, love is not about possessing another person. It is about creating a space where two people feel safe, appreciated, and free to become the best versions of themselves. When respect disappears, love begins to fade. But when respect, trust and kindness remain, love has the chance to endure. In the end, love is measured not by grand declarations but by everyday acts of honesty, care and commitment. (The writer is an educator based in Thane. Views personal.)

Clever seat selection helped BJP to secure historic win

The party won 65 seats against Congress, 37 against NCP (SP) and 29 against Shiv Sena (UBT)

Clever seat selection

Mumbai: The BJP’s strategic seat sharing with the allies has proved beneficial for the party. An analysis of the Assembly election results show that the BJP has scored over its main rival, the Congress, in a big way because of the direct fights.


The analysis shows that BJP defeated all three constituents of the Maharashtra Vikas Aghadi (MVA) – Congress, Shiv Sena (UBT) and NCP (SP) – in the direct fights. This is attributed as one of the reasons for the BJP’s historic poll success.


The BJP contested 147 out of 288 seats. In 76 constituencies, it faced Congress. BJP secured victory in 65 seats and lost only 11 seats, making it a whopping 86 per cent of the total direct fights. This was followed by an even stronger performance against NCP (SP). Of the total 39 fights with Sharad Pawar’s party, BJP captured 37 seats making it 95 per cent of the total fights with NCP (SP). BJP and Shiv Sena (UBT) were head-to-head in 32 constituencies, of which BJP emerged victorious in 29 seats, making this 91 per cent of the total direct contests.


According to a BJP strategist the party had bargained hard with its allies, Shiv Sena and NCP to get the desired constituencies in the seat sharing formula. “We had studied to potential candidates of the MVA. That helped us in choosing the seats where we can register comfortable victories,” the strategist said.


BJP spokesperson Niranjan Shetty attributed the success to all the party workers who worked hard to boost development, infrastructure in the state. He gave credit to Deputy Chief Minister Devendra Fadnavis for his contribution to the party’s success.


Shetty pointed out that in 2019, Uddhav Thackeray had stalled all the “novel” and “legendary” projects that Fadnavis had started when he had taken over as CM, making it very easy for the people of Maharashtra to strike a comparison between both the leaders and the potential they had for serving the people. “Devendra Fadnavis gave up his post very easily for the larger good. There are many such examples like Venkaiah Naidu who was BJP National President and later worked as the Vice President of India because that was the need of the hour. We seldom care about our posts,” Shetty told The Perfect Voice.


Congress spokesperson Atul Londhe refused to call the election results as the people’s mandate. “This is not at all a Janata mandate. Despite Maharashtra struggling with so many basic social issues, how can BJP acquire such a huge mandate is the question. If a student copies and fails with just passing marks, it can go unnoticed, but if a student copies and bags the number one position, something is fishy. Why is the BJP scared of ballot papers?” he said.

Comments

bottom of page