top of page

By:

Asha Tripathi

14 April 2025 at 1:35:28 pm

Love Isn't Toxic; People Are

Love has never been the problem. Human behaviour has. People often say, ‘Love isn't what it used to be.' We hear stories of betrayal, manipulation, ghosting, emotional abuse, and broken promises. It can seem as though love itself has become toxic. But has love really changed, or is it the way people approach relationships that has changed? The truth is that love has never been the problem. Human behaviour has. True love is not constant excitement, grand gestures, or perfect romance. It is a...

Love Isn't Toxic; People Are

Love has never been the problem. Human behaviour has. People often say, ‘Love isn't what it used to be.' We hear stories of betrayal, manipulation, ghosting, emotional abuse, and broken promises. It can seem as though love itself has become toxic. But has love really changed, or is it the way people approach relationships that has changed? The truth is that love has never been the problem. Human behaviour has. True love is not constant excitement, grand gestures, or perfect romance. It is a choice to treat another person with dignity, kindness, and honesty. True love is built on mutual respect, trust and emotional security. It involves respecting each other's feelings, boundaries and individuality, caring for one another through both joyful and difficult times, and building trust through consistent actions rather than empty promises. It is marked by honest communication instead of manipulation or mind games; accepting each other's imperfections while encouraging personal growth; and creating a relationship in which both partners feel safe to express themselves without fear of judgement or rejection. Love is not about controlling someone. It is about helping each other feel valued and secure. Toxic Love Relationships become toxic when fear, insecurity, selfishness or a desire for control replace mutual respect and care. One common cause is unresolved emotional wounds. People who have experienced betrayal, neglect or unhealthy relationships may carry those experiences into new relationships, making them suspicious, controlling or emotionally distant. Unrealistic expectations can also create problems. Films and social media often portray love as a constant state of excitement, whereas real relationships involve routine, disagreements, responsibilities and compromise. When expectations do not match reality, disappointment often follows. Poor communication is another major factor. Instead of discussing problems openly, some people avoid difficult conversations, withdraw emotionally, criticise or manipulate their partners, allowing misunderstandings to deepen. Experts also point to the role of ego. When individuals become more concerned with proving themselves right than understanding their partner's perspective, conflicts become harder to resolve and empathy gives way to confrontation. Fear of abandonment can fuel unhealthy behaviour. Anxiety about losing a partner may manifest as jealousy, possessiveness, constant monitoring or emotional dependence, behaviours that often place further strain on the relationship. A lack of accountability can also damage relationships. Healthy partners acknowledge their mistakes and work to improve, while toxic relationships are often characterised by blame, excuses and an unwillingness to take responsibility. Technology has also changed relationship dynamics. While instant messaging, social media and dating apps have made communication easier, they have also increased opportunities for comparison, insecurity and the pursuit of constant validation, creating new pressures for many couples. True Love Despite growing cynicism about modern relationships, true love still exists. It may seem rare because it requires qualities that are not always easy to practise, including patience, maturity, honesty, consistency and emotional responsibility. True love is not found in perfect people. Rather, it is created by two imperfect individuals who consistently choose respect over control, honesty over deception, and understanding over ego. Healthy Love Healthy love brings more peace than confusion. It does not mean there will never be disagreements. Instead, both partners work through them without humiliating or harming each other. In a healthy relationship, both partners feel respected rather than controlled and heard rather than dismissed. Trust is built through consistent actions rather than promises alone, creating a sense of security and reliability. Healthy relationships also allow individuals to express themselves freely without fear of judgement while encouraging both partners to grow as individuals even as they strengthen their relationship together. Love itself has never become toxic. Fear, insecurity, dishonesty, and emotional immaturity make relationships toxic. True love is not measured by how intensely someone says, "I love you." It is measured by how consistently they show respect, care, honesty, and responsibility. At its best, love is not about possessing another person. It is about creating a space where two people feel safe, appreciated, and free to become the best versions of themselves. When respect disappears, love begins to fade. But when respect, trust and kindness remain, love has the chance to endure. In the end, love is measured not by grand declarations but by everyday acts of honesty, care and commitment. (The writer is an educator based in Thane. Views personal.)

Gun Violence in America

Updated: Jan 2, 2025

Gun Violence in America

On December 16, 2024, tragedy struck Abundant Life Christian School in Madison, Wisconsin, where a 15-year-old student, Natalie Rupnow, fatally shot a fellow student and a teacher before taking her own life. Six others were injured, with two in critical condition. This devastating event is a grim reminder of the United States' ongoing struggle with gun violence, particularly in schools.


A Long History of Gun Ownership in America

The issue of gun violence in the United States cannot be discussed without acknowledging its deep-rooted history of gun ownership. The right to bear arms is enshrined in the Second Amendment of the U.S. Constitution, adopted in 1791, which states: “A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.”


Initially, this amendment was intended to empower citizens to form militias for self-defense during a time when standing armies were distrusted. Over the centuries, however, the interpretation of the Second Amendment has evolved. Today, it is often cited as a justification for individual gun ownership, a concept reinforced by landmark court cases such as District of Columbia v. Heller (2008), which affirmed an individual's right to own firearms for self-defense.


Gun culture is deeply ingrained in American society, with nearly 400 million firearms in civilian hands—more guns than people. This level of accessibility, coupled with a powerful gun lobby led by organizations like the National Rifle Association (NRA), has made significant legislative reform difficult.


Gun Violence in Numbers

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), firearms cause approximately 40,000 deaths annually in the United States—equivalent to 109 deaths per day. This figure includes homicides, suicides, and accidental shootings. Among children and teenagers, firearms are now the leading cause of death, surpassing motor vehicle accidents.


School shootings are a particularly horrifying aspect of gun violence in America. Since 1990, there have been over 800 incidents in K-12 schools, resulting in more than 500 deaths and over 1,000 injuries. High-profile tragedies such as the Columbine High School massacre (1999), the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting (2012), and the Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School attack (2018) have shocked the nation and the world, yet meaningful reforms remain elusive.


A Global Comparison

The United States stands out among developed nations for its high rate of gun violence. In countries like Australia, Canada, and much of Europe, strict gun control measures have significantly reduced firearm-related deaths. For example: By contrast, the firearm-related death rate in the United States is 12.2 per 100,000 people, significantly higher than other developed nations. The prevalence of guns and the lack of uniform gun control laws contribute to this disparity.


Challenges in Addressing Gun Violence

Efforts to reduce gun violence in the U.S. have faced significant obstacles. One of the most notable is the prohibition of federal funding for gun violence research. In 1996, Congress passed the Dickey Amendment, effectively barring the CDC from studying gun violence as a public health issue. Although the funding ban was partially lifted in 2019, its legacy has left the country with a limited understanding of the causes and solutions to gun violence.


Advocates have long called for measures such as:

• Universal Background Checks: Closing loopholes in gun sales to ensure that all firearm purchases are subject to background checks.

• Safe Storage Laws: Requiring gun owners to store firearms securely to prevent unauthorized access.

• Bans on Certain Firearms: Prohibiting the sale of assault-style weapons, which are often used in mass shootings.


The Debate Over Gun Rights and Reform

The debate over gun control in the United States often pits the rights of gun owners against the need for public safety. Opponents of stricter gun laws argue that restrictions infringe on constitutional rights and fail to address the root causes of violence, such as mental health issues. Proponents, however, point to the success of gun control measures in other countries and the overwhelming public support for policies like background checks.


A Way Forward

Despite the challenges, there is growing momentum for change. Grassroots organizations, survivors of gun violence, and some lawmakers are advocating for comprehensive reforms. The Madison school shooting serves as a stark reminder of the urgency of these efforts. As the nation grapples with its gun violence epidemic, it must look to both its history and the experiences of other countries to find a path toward a safer future.


(The author is a resident of US. Views personal.)

Comments

bottom of page