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By:

Dr. Kailash Atkare

24 June 2025 at 7:00:23 pm

The Vanishing Value of Courtesy

People are increasingly connected through technology but less connected through human warmth. Courtesy plays a crucial role in individual development, social welfare and national building. In an age of rapid technological advancement, social media debates, political disagreements and increasing competition, courtesy, humility and politeness establish our cultural presentation. Unfortunately, these qualities appear to be disappearing from everyday life. People are increasingly connected...

The Vanishing Value of Courtesy

People are increasingly connected through technology but less connected through human warmth. Courtesy plays a crucial role in individual development, social welfare and national building. In an age of rapid technological advancement, social media debates, political disagreements and increasing competition, courtesy, humility and politeness establish our cultural presentation. Unfortunately, these qualities appear to be disappearing from everyday life. People are increasingly connected through technology but less connected through human warmth. A polite word, respectful gesture, patient hearing and humble attitude may appear insignificant but possess extraordinary power to transform relationships and society. Courtesy is a social formality. Humility is not weakness. Politeness is not submission. They express emotional intelligence, self-discipline and human dignity. A truly educated person knows how to treat others with dignity, not merely possess degrees and knowledge. Literature has recognised the moral power of humility. Shakespeare's works demonstrate how pride can destroy individuals, while wisdom and compassion can restore relationships. In King Lear, Lear's journey from arrogance to humility begins with his expectation of obedience and praise. Suffering teaches him empathy and the value of ordinary people. Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice similarly presents Elizabeth Bennet and Mr Darcy's transformation. Darcy's pride prevents him from understanding others, while Elizabeth's prejudice prevents her from seeing his true character. Both change through self-reflection and humility. Indian literature offers similar examples. Saint Tukaram placed humility and compassion at the centre of his teachings. The Bhakti tradition challenged social arrogance and emphasised individual dignity, reminding us that spiritual greatness is inseparable from humility. The Ramayana provides an enduring example through Lord Rama, whose conduct reflects respect for elders, compassion, restraint and responsibility. Whether viewed as religious literature or a cultural text, it illustrates that greatness can be accompanied by humility. Courtesy is both a moral and cultural concept with a scientific basis. Research in psychology and neuroscience suggests that respectful interaction influences emotional well-being. Humans respond to facial expressions, tone, gestures and interpersonal behaviour. A harsh word can trigger stress and defensiveness, while a kind word creates psychological safety. Social rejection and humiliation can cause genuine distress, while positive interaction promotes trust, belonging and emotional security. Modern leadership studies emphasise emotional intelligence, empathy, self-awareness and relationship management. A leader who listens and acknowledges others' contributions is generally more effective than one who relies exclusively on authority. Courtesy improves workplace teamwork, while students learn more effectively when teachers combine discipline with respect and encouragement. In the Indian context, respectful behaviour has traditionally been important. Namaste, Dhanyavad, Kripaya, respectful forms of addressing elders, Atithi Devo Bhava and Vasudhaiva Kutumbakam reflect this understanding. These ideas become meaningful when practised in everyday life. Yet contemporary public life presents a different picture: road rage, aggressive political arguments, online trolling, disrespect towards public servants, impatience in queues and rude workplace interactions are increasingly common. Social media has complicated matters because people say things online that they would hesitate to say face to face. Digital anonymity can remove natural restraint and make people forget the human being behind a profile or photograph. There is a misconception that politeness indicates weakness. Controlling one's anger requires greater strength than expressing it. Anyone can shout, insult and react impulsively; maturity is required to remain calm when provoked. Gandhi's philosophy of non-violence provides a profound example. His insistence on dignity, restraint and dialogue demonstrated that moral strength does not require aggression. Dr A. P. J. Abdul Kalam was admired for his scientific achievements, humility and ability to interact with students and ordinary citizens. Courtesy begins with small habits: holding a door, allowing others to speak, thanking a worker, respecting a security guard, helping an elderly person, acknowledging a colleague's contribution or apologising when wrong. Such acts may appear ordinary, but civilisation is built through them. A teacher who encourages questions can foster intellectual curiosity, while a dismissive response may silence a student for months. A manager who publicly humiliates an employee may create fear, whereas one who privately explains a mistake and offers guidance creates loyalty and learning. Courtesy therefore has institutional value in classrooms, offices, hospitals, government departments and public spaces. The modern world celebrates achievement and degrees, but achievement without humility can become arrogance. Isaac Newton's metaphor of seeing farther by standing on the shoulders of giants reflects the scholarly virtue that no achievement exists in isolation. Courtesy should not be restricted to formal occasions; it should become a habit. Teachers can cultivate courteous classrooms and institutions can promote dignity and inclusion. A society does not become civilised through skyscrapers, highways, universities and advanced technology alone. It becomes civilised when people learn to respect one another. Courtesy is the language of respect. Politeness is the discipline of speech. Humility is the recognition of our limitations. It creates trust, cooperation and social harmony. (The writer is an assistant professor of English literature. Views personal.)

Indecision Kills Personal Branding

Updated: Jan 20, 2025

Indecision Kills

In a world that celebrates clarity and confidence, hesitancy is a silent yet powerful force that can diminish your personal brand. When people dwell in the realms of “I’m not sure” or “maybe,” they unknowingly project uncertainty and unreliability—traits that can undermine the foundation of a strong personal brand. Your ability to make decisions and stand firm on them is not just a reflection of your leadership but also a testament to your personal brand’s strength.


Every interaction we have leaves an impression. Be it a professional email, a networking event, or a casual conversation, these moments contribute to how others perceive us. When you continuously oscillate between indecision and vague responses, it sends a message that you lack confidence or direction. In business, where trust and reliability are paramount, this can become a significant roadblock.


Imagine a scenario where a client approaches two service providers with the same inquiry. The first one confidently outlines a plan, clearly stating the next steps, while the second hesitates, replying with, “I’m not sure; let me think about it.” Even if both have the same expertise, the client is more likely to gravitate toward the first provider. Confidence fosters trust, and trust is the bedrock of all successful relationships—professional or personal.


Indecision can often stem from the fear of making mistakes or being judged. While this is natural, it’s important to remember that perfection is an illusion. The act of making a decision, even if it turns out to be less than ideal, demonstrates courage, responsibility, and accountability. These are the traits that elevate a personal brand, distinguishing you in a crowded and competitive world.


Being decisive doesn’t mean being impulsive or reckless. It means gathering information, weighing options, and then committing to a choice with confidence. In personal branding, this is particularly crucial because every decision you make—how you respond to challenges, present yourself, or communicate with others—forms part of the narrative others associate with you.


Hesitation and indecision don’t only affect how others perceive you; they also impact how you view yourself. Constantly second-guessing yourself leads to self-doubt, which becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. The more uncertain you are, the more others will mirror that uncertainty, creating a cycle that can be hard to break.


One way to counter this is by setting clear priorities and aligning your decisions with them. For instance, if your personal brand is centred around being a thought leader in your industry, your choices should reflect expertise and foresight. Even in moments of ambiguity, acknowledging the uncertainty while showing a proactive approach—such as saying, “I’ll find out and get back to you”—conveys both honesty and determination.


During my recent trip to Australia, I was reminded of how decisiveness shapes impressions. Whether interacting with global clients or navigating unfamiliar professional terrains, I realized that certainty in communication was key to building trust and rapport. This was particularly evident when representing my personal brand on international platforms. A clear, confident tone opened doors and strengthened relationships that would have otherwise remained distant.


The next time you find yourself leaning on phrases like “I’m not sure” or “maybe,” pause and ask yourself: Is this hesitation necessary? Sometimes, it’s about silencing the inner critic and choosing to act decisively. Even if the outcome isn’t perfect, the act of making a choice positions you as someone who is reliable, proactive, and worth trusting.


Your personal brand isn’t defined by the absence of mistakes but by how you handle them and move forward. Decisiveness isn’t just about making choices—it’s about owning them. And in a world that often feels uncertain, those who lead with clarity and conviction stand out.


Make your decisions a reflection of your confidence, and watch as your personal brand strengthens, opening doors you never imagined.

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(The author is a personal branding expert. She has clients from 14+countries. Views personal.)

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