Aggression, social awkwardness, arrogance, bullying, sibling rivalry, being glued to screens, lack of patience, intolerance, and disobedience are some of the common traits that we observe in children under six. Some attribute it to parenting styles, others to changing attitudes in children, but the most common culprit is seen as screen time. While this argument seems never-ending, let us go back to the 1980’s. It was then, as a child, that I spent time in daycare, where I learnt new things. I was exhausted when I got home after playing active games with my friends. “By 7 p.m., parents took over—homework came first, followed by dinner conversations and then bedtime stories. Grandparents’ vacation visits were the cherry on top, filled with storytelling and games. Having said that, there was some part of the day when I used to find ways to kill my boredom. That part is essential for the development of a child, which is exactly missing today. With the availability of screens, things have gotten even tougher. There are several other factors apart from screen watching that are contributing to the increased aggression among children.
Manasi Joshi, a clinical psychologist at Nair Hospital in Mumbai, pointed out that it is hypocritical to expect children to set goals for them that are unachievable for us as adults. “A bad habit is a bad habit. It has nothing to do with age. If you expect your children to eat without watching screens, you must do it yourself first. I suggest all parents go back and find out at what point of temptation you handed over the screen to your child for the first time. Was it when the child was not eating, or was it when the child was being cranky? In a way, you ended up rewarding that child for the inappropriate behaviour.”
Given the challenge of working parents today, where they are expected to be available for work around the clock, Manasi says parents must make children understand that they are using their phones only for office work and not to kill boredom.
Banning screens does not mean you have to arrange expensive or complicated activities. Just two glasses of water, bits of paper, and crayons are more than enough to keep this age group busy. However, parents need to shed some laziness, set aside their phones, and guide their children to find simple ways to stay occupied.
An all-too-common sight in restaurants today is adults peacefully eating while children are glued to their mobile phones. Manasi pointed out, “A big mistake that parents make today is to indulge in conversations that have no relevance for the child. Parents need to find a way to indulge more in conversations that involve their children in a positive way. Leaving family disputes and other topics to time slots when children are not around is the best way to tackle this.”
Apart from screens, aggression is attributed to social status and problems of plenty. Parents have stopped teaching their children to wait for a certain wish to be fulfilled. Additionally, the behaviour of everyone they encounter daily—family members, teachers, friends, and even strangers—directly influences their psychology. Parents give commands to discipline their children or tell them what they shouldn’t do. Let me share with you an example. How do you get your child to tidy up a room full of scattered toys? “Rather than saying, ‘I need all of this in place in five minutes,’ it’s better to say, ‘Let’s do it together.’”
That said, it is still very important to minimise screen time in children’s lives. Manasi pointed out, “Increased viewing of screens has led to the rising number of cases of children developing social disconnect, aloofness, not being able to mingle among peers, acute depression, etc. In some rare and most severe cases among older children, extensive screen watching has led to sexual exploitation.”
Creativity is hindered, children lose connections, attention spans are dwindling, and social skills suffer due to excessive screen time. However, along with limiting screen viewing, it would be a good idea if parents adopt changes to their own lifestyles to allow children to develop as better individuals.
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